DO YOU KNOW WHAT ARE THE MAIN HUMAN NEEDS?
And why they are so important for our happiness?
2. What Are the Critical Bonding Needs?
Briefly, here are our top four bonding needs. I have derived this list from my observations of clients and by delving into the literature and research on psychology and human development:
We need safety, care, and true acceptance from our parents for the duration of our childhood. If these needs are unmet, we suffer in relationships as adults.
We need lots of social connections, many of which need to be closer than others.
We need to matter to others, be approved of and be held in high esteem by others.
We need one significant, permanent and loving partner. We will have a deep craving and sense of something missing – even if we deny these feelings from our consciousness and refuse to acknowledge them – until we find such a partner.
For many people, at least two if not all four of these bonding needs are going unmet for long duration. In many cases, this state of chronically unmet bonding needs feels “normal.”
It does not occur to the person that anything is wrong, except that relationships just don’t seem to work that well for them. In other words, he or she experiences relationship pain without recognizing the deeper cause: their own mindset created by childhood attachment.
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