Neil Warner

Neil Warner

Monday, September 13, 2010

A successful marriage requires personal growth and development

We all need a lot of help if we wish to have lasting, loving marriages. Even from the world of business leadership, there are voices giving positive indications. For example, Shundrawn Thomas tells us that:
"While character is important, the ability to mold that character is paramount as well, Thomas said, drawing a parallel to marriage. “Are you still married to the same person you married five years ago? You’re probably not. You wouldn’t still be married. A successful marriage requires personal growth and development.

“This thought in your head that you can’t be anything different that what you were — if that is the position you take, you will not be effective as a leader.”

Does he mean that we need something similar to a business plan for our marriages? probably yes! At least, the assumption that a performing marriage is a contract based on the simultaneous development of both spouses, as people, is clear. Why and how we confuse ourselves thinking that we can continue as the same person we were ten years ago when the whole world is evolving around us? Perhaps because marriage is seen, basically as a refuge from life. 

Nothing can be farther from the truth, in is either both keep growing up and developing together, or one is left behind and as the gap grows, the estrangement between spouses grows, up until the "irreconcilable differences" perception settles in. 

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